Derpy Daze at Players' Retreat

Today Brit and I decided to grab lunch at Players Retreat to catch up on our failed and blossoming relationships while we ate and drank away our feelings.

The weather was beautiful so we sat ourselves outside.  I have only ever been to Players’ Retreat to grab drinks and watch basketball, I had never been to eat.  I had heard the service was kind of sucky, so I wasn’t expecting much. 

Our less than friendly server who will remain nameless (because he never gave us his name) brought us menus and water.  Shortly after he brought us our brews and took our orders.  I asked for his suggestion and he told me that he was currently eating a huge, yet affordable turkey club sandwich in the back so that’s what I ended up ordering.  Brit kept calling our server “derpy.”  I suppose he wasn’t not-friendly, I think he was just stoned.   Brit goes “I’ve never seen such a derpy guy in my entire life!”  To be honest, I never even really knew the definition of “derp” until I met this guy. 

I digress.  We also ordered some mozzarella sticks for a starter.  Sorry there isn’t a picture of them… we started stuffing our pie holes before we could remember to snap a pic.

About the time it took for Brit to finish her glass of water, our meals came.  She got the burger and I got a monster turkey club.  Today is Steven Tyler’s 64^th birthday and I couldn’t have ordered anything more appropriate.  The thing was ginormous and you literally have to stretch your mouth out as far as you possibly can to take a bite of HALF of it.  The Demon of Screamin’ would have been so proud to see his biggest fan gorge her face the way I did.

The turkey club was divided into four triangles held together with the biggest toothpicks you can buy and it was layered like this: bread, mayonnaise, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, bread, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, provolone, bread.

I must say that in contrast to the sub par service, my sammy was DE-LISH.  The wheat bread was only slightly toasted.  It was a golden brown and the sugars were brought out ever so sweetly in the bread without making it too crispy or leaving it too soft.  There was enough turkey to feed a small family on Thanksgiving, needless to say I took a nice nap once I got home after the turkey/beer combo.  The tomato and lettuce on it tasted fresh.  The sandwich wasn’t drowned in mayonnaise at all.  I hate when places have it dripping and oozing out of the sides and you have to use a thousand napkins to keep your hands clean.  There was hardly any mayonnaise on the sandwich at all so for me, it was muy perfecto.

The kettle chips that come with the sandwich must be loaded with MSG or some other sort of addictive drug such as the crack cocaine or meth.  They tasted good.  In my opinion they were nothing to neither rave nor bitch about… however I couldn’t stop scarfing them down like a famished, starving, and abused dog at the pound.  No matter how full I got, I just kept eating and eating and eating and eating them.

Anyway, Players Retreat was good mostly because I was in good company.  The food was pretty decent but I have certainly found better things to rave about around downtown Raleigh.  I’d stick to this place for beer and basketball.

Empanada Terrible Place To Go

Last night my friend Sara and I went to Calavera Empanada and Tequila bar located downtown at 444-101 South Blount Street.  I had never been nor heard of it so I was excited to go.  I also had no idea what an empanada was. 

The inside was itty-bitty and the weather was perfect so we sat ourselves outside.  The tables were covered in fun, brightly colored floral tablecloths.  We each ordered waters (however, I totally would have gotten one of their fancy specialty beverages for only $8.00, but I was driving and the last thing I’d want to do is total another car) and a chips and guacamole appetizer.  The guacamole was better than at most places and had more lemon or lime in it than usual so it was really refreshing for the hot humid weather.  We wished we had either more guacamole or less chips.  What a terrible ratio it was.

Their prices were muy perfecto for you college students.  One empanada was 3 dollars.  They aren’t too big, so I assume most people order two or three but I had already eaten a snack closer to dinnertime so one was perfect for me.  If you don’t know what an empanada is, I would compare it to those little turnover things that people eat for breakfast.  It’s a half circle, crispy pastry stuffed with whatever meat/cheese/veggie/fruit combination your hungry little heart desires.

Calavera’s most popular empanada is the Al Pastor.  The pastry was stuffed with sweet guajillo pepper marinated pork, cilantro, pineapple and lime.  The price sort of speaks for itself.  I’d say it was a lot more pastry than any of that other fancy stuff so I can’t really tell you what it tasted like because it was overpowered by the bread.  Sara said I ordered the wrong one.  She said “the Pablono Loco is the best bang for your buck so, if you like cheese you should definitely order it.” 

Each plate comes with a side of salsa, and a side of some kind of green chili salsa.  I liked the green one because it was different and it was really sweet and tasted good with my lackluster pineapple turnover dinner pocket.

For dessert we split the King of Kong, which was an empanada filled with banana, Nutella and topped with powdered sugar.  As you can imagine, it was amazing.  Anything with Nutella is guaranteed satisfaction.  I only wish it had more banana chunks in it and I also wish it had been like… fifteen times the size so I could eat Nutella forever and ever.

The service here was so-so.  My water went down to the bottom more than once but the atmosphere was brilliant.  If you get the opportunity to sit at Calavera outside around dusk, you truly get to experience all of the glory that is downtown Raleigh.  Bowlegged dogs, hipsters in 90-degree weather wearing heavy jackets and scarves, funny toothless men on some sort of something fun yelling profanities, and most importantly, beautiful shirtless men glistening in pearls of sweat as they run into the sunset wearing nothing but spandex and tennies.  Downtown Raleigh is truly an experience and Calavera helps you see it all.  Plus, I hear they have really great drink specials on the weekends.

Not Loafin' the Meatloaf

Last week my favorite Peruvian and I went to lunch at the creatively named 18 Seaboard located at 18 Seaboard Avenue in Seaboard station.  It was a beautiful 72-degree afternoon so the friendly hostess gave us the option of sitting inside or outside so we chose outside. 

Unbeknownst to us, the outdoor seating was not just merely outside on a patio… it was open-air seating on the roof!  We were lead through the restaurant and to the roof and chose a nice table for two in the shade.

Our server was friendly and timely.  As always, I ordered whatever he said was the most popular item on the menu.  Unfortunately it was meat loaf.  Not only have I never tasted any meat loaf other than my own mother’s (unwillingly, of course…), I have never been a huge fan of the idea of meat coming in a loaf… especially if it’s smothered in sweet ketchup.  The idea of a loaf of meat has repulsed me for as long as I can remember.  I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I ordered it anyway.  If it’s a Raleigh favorite then I guess it’s worth a try, right?

I figured if I was going to try one of my top 5 least favorite entrees of all time, I might as well get my wine-o on a little bit so I ordered a nice, cheap, sweet pinot grigio to help ease the pain.

My food came out and to my surprise, my meatloaf looked nothing at all like the traditional meatloaf our moms and grandmas make!  It looked like a char grilled steak atop a mound of mashed potatoes with a side of spinach and house made Worcestershire sauce for dipping.

I was pleasantly surprised by the meatloaf.  It was packed full of flavor.  It was pretty salty but the bits of onions left a little bit of sweetness in it.  The Worcestershire sauce was nice for dipping since the loaf was a little on the dry side.  It was pretty salty and vinegar-y, so my sweet wine contrasted nicely with it… but I’m probably an idiot.  In my opinion, all wine tastes fine with all food. 

The spinach tasted like spinach.

THE MASHED POTATOES.  Heavenly.  I couldn’t put my finger on it until I was half way through them.  They were house made, made out of red potatoes with the skins left in (my favorite).  They were perfectly whipped so that they were soft and creamy with hunks and chunks and little bits of potato still left in and there was a little bit of tang in them.  As I was listening to a story about Peruvian cops or something (I wasn’t really paying attention), the tang hit me.  Goat cheese.  Wonderfully delicious goat cheese!  It said it right not the menu, apparently but I don’t even look at the menus when I go out for this blog solely to keep myself ordering outside my little box. 

Right before we ordered our checks, our server brought us some complimentary dessert samples!  He brought two little pieces of Reese's Peanutbutter cake!  I'm glad the portions were so small... it was definitely a nice treat after all of the food I ate, but i'm sure I could have easily crammed a little more down my throat had he brought more.

The prices weren't terrible for lunch but I wouldn't recommend going for dinner if you're on a budget.  If you want to splurge a little bit on yourself rather than getting your usual bar food, this is a nice spot.  It only paid about $5 more than I usually would on a meal (excluding that glass of wine).

Go to 18 Seaboard.  If your mother sucks at cooking, order the meatloaf, as I’m sure you didn’t get the mystery meat once a week growing up.  If your mother frequently made meatloaf for you, I don’t recommend it although it was still fine to eat.

I wrote a note to 18 Seaboard suggesting that they might try and make the delicious goat cheese redskin mashed potatoes into an entrée of their own.  Maybe they could serve them with a side of goat cheese redskin mashed potatoes.  Also, I apologize that I do not have a picture of these godly mashed potatoes.  I ate them before I could snap one.